Captain Smirk's Training Center: 10 Pieces of Eight

[Josiah]

So straight up insult only training against the machine? Go ahead and insult away.

[Metalheadz]

Where did you get that sword? Did you take it from that pile of scrap twigs?

[Josiah]

"I stole yours, of course. I thought you would have noticed by now."

Pretty good, but it could be a little shorter and more direct without losing anything. Such as: "Did you get your sword from a pile of twigs?"

[Metalheadz]

With that kind of footwork, you couldn't make it out of the bathroom.

[Josiah]

"Says the guy who has fought this entire battle while crawling!"

Pretty good. I can't really see any problems with that one.

[Metalheadz]

Can you at least hit me rather than swinging your sword so carelessly?

[Josiah]

"You're not going to win many fights if you ask to get hit!"

Not bad, but something like "Could you at least try to hit me?" would have been shorter and a bit harder to counter.

And that concludes your training.

[Legendary]

Could I have some retort training please?

[Josiah]

Sure. You want to go against a trainer or the machine?

[Legendary]

Sorry for not replying, had a computer problem.
Trainer please,.

[Josiah]

Ok, let's begin.

"You're so slow, you couldn't stab a slug!"

[Legendary]

Said the man who could not stab a dead slug.

[Josiah]

That's 1.

"Everyone on this island lives in fear of me!"

[Legendary]

I bet nobody wants to hear your failures of insults.

[Josiah]

That's 2.

No one has faced me and lived!