Fortunately, Unfortunately...

[PoisonWing14]

Fortunately, there aren't any zombies here. (and your not in the Half-Life series)

[Doodleshark]

Unfortunately, the zombie virus has consumed most of the Earth, leaving only a few zombie-free areas such as your current location.

[Josiah]

Fortunately, The White Mage and his son cast Esuna on everyone, curing the virus.

[Doodleshark]

Unfortunately, you still have to worry about the non-virus parasite zombies.

[Josiah]

Fortunately, you just happen to have an anti-parasite radio wave generator.

[PoisonWing14]

Unfortunately, It's not working...'cause it ran out of batteries...

[Siranae]

Fortunately, there is a Radio Shack nearby.

[Josiah]

Unfortunately, it doesn't open for two more hours.

[Doodleshark]

Fortunately, there's a nearby Future Shop that's open.

[PoisonWing14]

Unfortunately, your future self is about to kill your grandfather in the past. (So you will never have lived....but then....who killed your grandfather? You are already dead! dun dun duuuuuunnnnnn!)

[Josiah]

Fortunately, seeing as your future self is just you in the future, you simply decide that you'll never travel back in time and try to kill your ancestors so he doesn't, and you're fine.

[Doodleshark]

Unfortunately, the zombies now have you surrounded.

[Winters Rage]

Fortunately, it's just a bad dream that you got from drinking too much beer when you were partying.

[Doodleshark]

Unfortunately, you now have a really bad hangover.

[Josiah]

Fortunately, you didn't have anything important to do today so you can just sleep it off.