Captain Smirk's Training Center: 10 Pieces of Eight

[Josiah]

((Well, if this here was one a them real fights then suppose I wouldn't be judgin' mah own retorts. But, since this is one of dem thar training matchs and don't really count fer nothin, why don't ya not worry bout the judgements and just go ahead and try ta counter that insalt a mine.))

[Winters Rage]

((Ok, Well, I reckon I'll give it et shot...)) [I'm actually using my mother as some of my inspiration :P]
"Well, I suppose you must be talkin' bout yourself there, since I'm holding mine mighty fine-like."

[Josiah]

Looks like that thar be a point ta NG!

Smirk - 4
NG - 3

[Winters Rage]

((Wahoo! 'nother point for me!))
"Now, see 'ere, this es how ya do et."

[Josiah]

"How you do what? Lose horribly! Yes, yes, you truly are a shining example of it!!!"

Point to Smirk! Smirk wins!

Now my brother, prepare yourself for the advice that may very well mean the difference between victory and annihilation!!! While the length of most of your insults and retorts rings true and your insults have potential, the way you word you retorts is often your fatal flaw! You must take care to ensure that they both counter what your opponent says and are written in a way that everyone can easily understand what you mean! For the good of all that lives, my brother, you must take my words to heart strive to improve your skills!!!

[Phonox]

Arise, foul beast of mechanical contraption! Sharpen your devilish tounge and ready your sword, for I challenge thee to a battle of insults! While many others have fallen before you, I will prevail! The every insult I unleah upon you will damage your hollow soul, and when you're dazed from the ferocity of my attacks, I shall pierce your metal shell and end you!

(translation: I challenge the machine to three rounds of insults.)

[Josiah]

The machine says you can go ahead and post your first insult.

[Phonox]

Okay, I am really really really really really really really really sorry I forgot about this. I remembered this a few days ago in the morning but forgot about it by the time I got home. Really Really sorry.

"No matter how sharp your blade, you shall never match the sharpness of my wit!"

[Josiah]

"True. I don't think it's possible to get a blade that dull."

Pretty good all around. There's no wasted words, it's to the point, and make for a good insult. Not the hardest thing to counter, but still pretty good.

[Phonox]

Okay, childish insults away!

"The only thing you can cut is the cheese!"

[Josiah]

"Seeing how your insults are full of it, that shouldn't be a problem."

Clever, if childish. Short, sweet. Once again, a good solid insult.

[Phonox]

"I hope your swordfighting skils are as bad as your face!"

[Josiah]

Not bad, but it could be better. Why bother hoping when you could just say, "Your fighting style is as ugly as your face," or something to that effect? Don't hope that your opponent is bad, go right ahead and say that they are.

[Phonox]

Well, that was nice. Really need to remember these things though. Don't want to lose due to disqualification again.

[Winters Rage]

So I take it that Phonox is finished? If so, I'd like a battle of wits (insults) One on One with normal rules applying, if you will.