Return of the Revenge of the Son of Saying Hi to Josiah!

[Josiah]

Hi! I've been thinking of trying internet dating. More specifically, my parents have been bugging me to try a dating site for Messianic Jews. It's on my to-do list, to get them to stop, at the very least, but kind of a low priority so I haven't gotten around to it. There's also a female friend of mine here in Florida that I've been thinking of asking out but, much like me, she's a bit of a chronic non-dater and it can be really hard to pull her away from studying for any sort of activity (though maybe a date would work better than a group outting in that regard). She's not really religious either, which is an issue for me, but seems like she may be interested and my brother's girlfriend started out that way but appears to be fairly serious now. So yeah, haven't really made up my mind either way there...

In other news...swimming with manatees! Travelogue post with the details either tomorrow or Wednesday depending on how long it takes me to sort through the pictures.

[Cheezdude]

No don't do dating sites meet girls for real! Yeah! Initiate conversation! You never know until you ask them! Girls are just like guys except they have different sexual organs than us! Go get 'em!

[Josiah]

Hi! Oh, I've got no problem talking to girls (I've got lots of female friends). But, it's rare that I meet one I'd seriously consider dating. Problem is I don't meet many Messianic girls (not around my age, anyway), and religion is a pretty important criteria for me. And, to make things a bit more difficult, I want a girl who shares some of my interests and things like video games, anime, fantasy, etc. don't seem to be very popular hobbies among Messianic girls. Hence the reason a Messianic dating site could come in handy.

[Saber Knight]

Hey.

Shockingly enough, interactions between my ex and I today went better than they have since we broke up. She actually payed attention to the whole "You've been ignoring me and that's been upsetting me" thing that I said before the kissing started Friday night. So that's good!

I can't say that I have a hugely important criteria for dating. My philosophy about dating (at least for my age) was always to never be in a seriously long relationship so that you can date at least a handful of people to find what you like or don't like in a partner, so then when you start looking for something serious and long-term, you'll have a variety of experience. Now, this philosophy also existed before I realized just how much it can hurt to be so close to someone only to have them drop nearly-completely out of your life. I also don't think I'll trust future significant others with quite as much as I trusted my ex with, but meh. Where I am in my life right now, I could possibly consider getting back into a relationship later this year, but it would be nothing too serious. And, as out-of-character-for-high-school-me as it sounds, I'd equally consider not really doing the relationship thing and just fooling around a little bit. College is a time to explore options.

Also, there's a freshman in drumline who kinda-sorta-maybe drunkenly told me she thinks she might be gay like three months ago. I've spent the past few days desperately trying to figure out if she really is. If she is, I'm not entirely sure what I'll do about it, but she's definitely someone I could see myself involved with one way or another. If she's not... boo.

[shauni]

Weird weather this weekend. Snow fell all Friday night, and was 6 inches thick. Being the UK we could not cope and we had a snow day, then over night it rained and the whole lot was gone Sunday.

It was so very strange....

[Silver]

We're getting something like that in new Jersey, but much more mild and much more like Mother Nature's bi-polar and possibly pregnant and mood swingy simultaneously.

Friday night, we got snow. It was predicted to be 2 to 3 inches (that's 5 to 7 for you Centigrades). We got half an inch (that's 1.5 for you Centigrades). Then it snowed a little more early this morning... and now it's raining. Friday, it was 15 F (that's -9 for you Centigrades). Today, it's about 30 F (that's -1 for you Centigrades). Wednesday, the predicted temperature... is 60 F (that's 15 for you Centigrades). Yaaay Jersey...

Also, I have nothing to say on the matter of relationships, because you'll all just think I'm bragging. But let me just attest that I never looked! I was planning to go to my grave without ever having endured a moment of romance! If I had my way, there would've been one more lady on the market!

Though, she's certainly not a Messianic Jew, so I guess that doesn't help Josiah. However, is it possible to convert? 'Cause seriously, you guys get all the promise of redemption and MORE holidays, but without the negative stigma of the westboro baptist church.

[Josiah]

Hi! The weather here has actually been really good...but only for the last couple of days. It was pretty miserable before that. No snow though, that's extremely rare (though not entirely impossible) in northern Florida.

I'm all for just having a relationship grow out of a friendship or whatever without actually having to search for someone, props to Silver and Colly for that. Kinda what I always hoped would happen with me. Sadly, it doesn't work out that way for everyone. As for conversion, yeah that's totally fine. I honestly don't care if someone was born Jewish (or even goes through a formal conversaion ceremony), just that they have the same core beliefs. Like I mentioned, my brother's girlfriend didn't start out that way, and she's not Jewish by birth either, but seems to be taking it pretty seriously now. That's why I'm kinda considering asking that one friend of mine out, since she seems kinda open to it (the religion, I have no idea how open she'd be to dating). Though on the flip side, I've known some people who started dating a non-religious person and ended either going through a painful breakup or pulling away from religion themselves as a result.

To comment on what Saber said, getting involved in a few relationships over time to sort of "try things out" doesn't strike me as a neccessarily bad idea, but as you said, it can hurt a lot as well. I mean really, it's tough to be in any sort of semi-serious relationship without forming a bit of a connection with the other person. Those type of things tend to get serious over time whether you intended them to or not. As a side note, I also totally support people who find their first love right off the bat and stay together forever. If you've found someone great, it'd be stupid to leave them and find someone else just to "broaden your horizens" or the like.

Finally, I'm not entirely sure where I stand on just fooling around. If anything, somewhat opposed. I know some people do it and are fine (especially on TV), and I can see the attraction, but it seems like a lot of people get hurt and regret it sooner or later. Plus, if you take that kind of thing too far (and are heterosexual) there's always the risk of pregnancy. And I personally see those kind of relationships as something special that are better saved until you're married, or at least really serious. A bit old fashioned, I guess, and it's not like I get on people for doing the opposite, but that's still essentially the way I think.

[Neo Zanther]

Hi.

I agree on the fooling around bit. I'm personally saving the heterosexual aspect of it til marriage. I'm now in that limbo state of if I really want to start a conversation with someone or not (have two posibilites atm).

[Saber Knight]

Hey.

As a side note, I also totally support people who find their first love right off the bat and stay together forever. If you've found someone great, it'd be stupid to leave them and find someone else just to "broaden your horizens" or the like.

See, call me a... er... whatever the word for the opposite of a romantic is, but I really believe that you need to take time away from each other and date other people. If you are truly meant to be, you'll end up finding each other once again. This might be just because I'm still in the high school mindset where people then leave off for colleges hours away from one another and still attempt to stay together and I think that's ridiculous. You're moving on to a new chapter in your life. If you really are that miserable and believe there really is no one else you could ever see yourself being with, then I think it's acceptable to get back together. Again, so far my life has been leaving for college and the knowledge that, after college, people often go out into the world and go their separate ways. And maybe there is this strong magical bond that can exist between people where you just know, and I guess props to anyone who has that, but I'm a cynic/skeptic/non-romantic/whatever.

I mean, in my life, I'm looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend. I am not looking for a future spouse at this stage in life. In fact, the idea of a relationship that would last over a year scares me.

Plus, if you take that kind of thing too far (and are heterosexual) there's always the risk of pregnancy.

#heterosexualproblems

Also, the weather here has been... well, it's been. Last week was several days that danced around 0 Fahrenheit WITHOUT the windchill factored in... I'm too lazy to convert to the better system of Celsius, but, ugh, it was COLD. Especially when you're walking to classes. Over the weekend, it snowed (when it was snowing and about 20 degrees out, everyone was like IT'S SO WARM OMG), yesterday it freezing rained and made everything slippery as hell, and today it's in the mid forties. We also have a predicted temperature of 60 degrees tomorrow.

[Josiah]

Hi!

but I really believe that you need to take time away from each other and date other people.

To give an analogy... Let's say you have a job that you really like and enjoy. It's the only job you've ever had but you really love it. However, you decide to quit and work somewhere else for the sake of trying something different. There's a chance that you'll find a new job that you like even better. There's also a chance that you'll never find another job you like as much as the first one but, when you try and go back, you find they hired someone else and you can't get your old job back.
I'm all for trying new things, exploring new places, and the like (see my travelogues), but romance isn't the same thing as trying a different pizza restaurant or switching careers. And, if you're really truly happy with the person and you really care for them, why would you want to risk both losing that and hurting them in your pursuit of something different? Of course, if you're not happy or content that's a different matter entirely...

I mean, in my life, I'm looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend. I am not looking for a future spouse at this stage in life. In fact, the idea of a relationship that would last over a year scares me.

The way I see it, if you don't think there's some possibility of a relationship going long term (and eventually becoming marriage or whatever), there isn't much point. Well... I suppose there is "a" point but that goes back to my thoughts on "just fooling around". Of course, that doesn't mean that any relationship I get in will end up going that far, but as far as I'm concerned that's the goal to shoot for. That's also why I'm being rather picky about who I date. If I didn't care at all about the long term, I wouldn't worry so much about things like religion and common interests.

#heterosexualproblems

If you're bi, that means you're likely to end up with a guy sooner or later.

Now that I think about it, How I Met Your Mother (one of the few sitcoms I like), does a good job of portraying all of our different opinions of love, romance, and all that. Lily and Marshal are the couple who came together early on and just clicked and stayed together ever since. Ted is the guy who is always looking for his true love that he can spend the rest of his life with. And Barney is the guy who is all about short term, living in the moment and having fun. Of course, they all have issues and change somewhat over the show, and I'm not taking this comparison too far (don't want to offend anyone if they don't like the character closest to their view), but there's definately a bit of overlap there.

On a side note, it's great that we can have friendly serious discussions like this while at the same time debating ridiculous stuff like Tate's gender.

[Silver]

Yes, this is nice. I missed this. Maybe we should get a Brendan's Hair (which is NOT a hat... Colly) debate going on.

Now, I wouldn't say there's anything inherently wrong with dating different people. It can be a good way to learn about yourself and what you want, seeing what works and what doesn't. But I do think there's a problem with not taking a relationship seriously at all. Because then, how will you really know? Now, I don't mean to decide on day one that you're going to be together forever and that's all there is to it. But... don't go into a relationship with the mindset "this is just practice". Because what if they were the right one after all? If you anticipate the relationship ending in failure from the beginning, it's better to save yourself the time, effort, money, trust, and everything else, that you'd put into a relationship. If you don't try to make things work, well, obviously they aren't going to! And not only that, but you'll never know if they could have. You've gotta understand that no relationship's completely perfect. From time to time, there will be issues and disagreements. Sometimes, they're big enough to end the relationship over. Sometimes, they aren't. Sometimes you need to suck it up, apologize and let it go, and it sucks, but it's better than giving up on someone you really care about (when you're a guy, you're expected to do this a lot. It's like a test. She'll say stuff that she doesn't even agree with just to piss you off to see if you love her enough to apologize... I tell you this because, should you find yourself dating a girl again, it may happen to you. If you find yourself dating a guy, don't do it. Please. For his sake).

I don't mean that like, you need to put everything you've got into every relationship you're ever in. It takes time. I'm just saying, try to give it enough time and don't just run away from commitment. If you're not happy, break it off. If you are happy, but don't want to risk becoming unhappy through a long-term breakup, that's... well, it's stupid! If the thing you're most afraid of is the relationship ending, that means you like this person enough that you want to continue being with them! That's a good sign. Don't fear it.

[PoisonWing14]

Moi,

So, I see you guys are talking about relationships and such, huh? Yeah, not really my forte. Sure, I've had some crushes over the years, but I've never thought of actually dating anyone. I'm fine with having some good friends for now.
When I think about it, I really couldn't see myself getting married, or even having a long term relationship. Much like my hobbies, my interests tend to jump about randomly. What I like one day I may dislike the next. If I were to get a boyfriend/girlfriend, I doubt our relationship would last all that long. I'm also a bit of a hermit and have somewhat low social skills, so even if we both really liked each other, my need for "me time" might get in the way...

Well, enough of that. As I said, I'm not all that good when it comes to talking about relationships. Quite honestly, I find it to be slightly awkward.

So, in other news, I'm learning square dancing in gym. In my high school we are required to learn some type of dance in Junior and Senior year, and our school just happens to teach square dancing. At first, I thought I really wouldn't like it, but it's actually not that bad. I normally can not dance in front of or with other people, but two of my friends (both male) are in my group, so I guess I feel a bit more relaxed.
There is one thing I was not told about square dancing, and that's how exhausting it can be. Today, we were just learning a few basics, and by the end of the period I was a bit winded. I suppose I'll get used to it after a while, but even so, it's still a bit embarrassing. I'm really not used to dancing with other people at all...
Embarrassment aside, it was kind of fun. You know, a bit. Enough that I'll dance to the best of my abilities.

Stay radical, people! Peace off!

[shauni]

I'm 27 (28 in April) now and I feel like I should be making those big life changes, like settling down and having a family, but I'm having fun just hanging out with friends, having some disposable income and dating people I like and going where I want.

I guess I should not worry to much about the future, but in the next ten years I really want to start a family of my own, I know women can have kids after 40 now a days but I just want to be a bit of a younger mum to my kids.

I guess the next 5 years will be the key for what happens to me in the future, but to be fair, in life its never to late as long as you are still living.

[Saber Knight]

Hey.

You've gotta understand that no relationship's completely perfect. From time to time, there will be issues and disagreements. Sometimes, they're big enough to end the relationship over. Sometimes, they aren't. Sometimes you need to suck it up, apologize and let it go, and it sucks, but it's better than giving up on someone you really care about

I wish you could tell that to my ex. She has this delirious notion that "a good relationship shouldn't need work" because that's what her parents taught her and that's apparently what they have... I mean, good for them if they do, I guess, but it really didn't work out in my favor. I really think what was going wrong between us could have easily been fixed with a little more time. It hurt a lot that she wasn't willing to do so for a relationship that had made both of us so very happy. And I guess it's all irrelevant now anyways since she's apparently in love with her ex.

And I guess my not-looking-for-long-term, not-looking-for-marriage thing really stems from the fact that, after college, my life could go anywhere. I want to see the world. I want to travel. Maybe go to grad school as well. I want to do so much before I settle down. I'm not ready for something like that. Hell, I don't even know if I'll get married. If I find the right person when I'm ready, sure, but I'm not gonna say it's a goal in life for me to get married. Maybe I will mess up and blow it with the person that would have been best for me. I guess I'm just afraid of getting in a relationship for the long term and feeling like "eh, this is good enough" and just becoming too content with it and never leaving when there is potentially someone out there that is better for me. Comparable to getting a job that you're content at and even kind of happy at, but you think there could possibly be another job out there that would be more meaningful to you, but, hey, really, this job is good, safe, and secure. If you're going different places in life, I think you should take time apart. I still stand by the fact that,if they're really right for you, you'll come back to one another.

If you're bi, that means you're likely to end up with a guy sooner or later.

I was just joking around

On a side note, it's great that we can have friendly serious discussions like this while at the same time debating ridiculous stuff like Tate's gender.

One of the many reasons I love the forums.

And, I guess, as a side note, my relationship with my ex was doomed (er, there really needs to be a milder word than "doomed") from the start. We were going to break up when she graduated, as, not only would I still be doing three more years of college, but also she's planning on going to Japan next year.

[Josiah]

Hi!

after college, my life could go anywhere. I want to see the world. I want to travel. Maybe go to grad school as well. I want to do so much before I settle down

To some extent, I agree with you there. I still don't feel like I've settled down in life (this isn't the job or place I went to stay long term) and at times that makes me worry a bit about what could happen with a relationship. That said, I know a lot of people in serious relationships who haven't let that stop their other life plans. I've got a surprising ammount of friends who were serious relationships (some married, some not) but wanted to travel, work over seas, and/or get a graduate degree, and all of them were able to work things out with their significant other and do those things while staying together, even if that meant something as extreme as moving to another country. If two people really care for each other and try hard to work things out, there's pretty much always a way to do so.

Not much going on on my end. I'm trying to get a lot of different things done this week, which means a lot of work and not much leisure time, but that's the way it goes. Now if I can just get my apartment cleaned and get some serious writing done I'll be good. The low ammount of writing I've done so far this week bugs me a bit though. There's no danger of my not finishing before the deadline (even at a slow speed, I'll finish weeks before that), but I want to get that story done so I can go back to Aurora's Nightmare. However, some of my other tasks for the week, like booking a trip to the Game Developers Conerence (which I did yesterday), have just proved more time consuming than I thought they would. Oh well, I'm getting there...