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PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 9:44 pm 
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NOTE:: I am now starting on Project 2 since Project 1 was an epic failure. Please scroll down to see my new chapters for Project 2.

*I do not own any of the sprites and they all belong to their respective owners.

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Last edited by Metalheadz on Wed Sep 23, 2009 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 11:57 pm 
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Well since this is yours, it would belong in the Art Section.

As for the strips themselves, the first one is defiantly too big, I had to scroll across and back to see/read everything.
The seconds ones better, but the panels could still be a bit smaller, either that or make the sprite a bit bigger.

Next the text blocks need a bit better placement. I got confused as to who was saying what first.

As for the art, what did you save it under because the sprites have gone all pixely.
And yeah otherwise fine, considering it looks to me like you made it in paint.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 6:58 am 
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If only I knew what you were saying... T_T Besides, I didn't put a lot of effort into this comic, I'm the kind of person who does things really fast.

I just need a little overview of everything Kaida was telling me.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 7:10 am 
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Chapter 2 is too big, you have to scroll to see everything. Smaller panels... your characters are small enough.

You can't tell which character is talking due to the lack of text bubbles or even a line coming from the text to the character.

You have some fuzzy white stuff around the pokemon trainer sometimes. You must have them saved as .jpg, or something. Try .png.

I used to make webcomics, too. I just snagged a random one right now, just to give you an idea.

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This is made in paint, just FYI.

I'd give some more advice, but I must be off to school. Ta!

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 3:08 pm 
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Moved to Art.

And, to echo and clarify what the others said and add a few comments of my own...

1. NEVER save a sprite comic as a jpg file, it'll make things all blurry. Use png.
2. Your characters are way too smile compared to the size of your panels. Either double the size of your characters or seriously shrink your panels.
3. Your text needs both bubbles so it's not just sitting on the background, and lines connecting it to whoever is talking.
4. Your text blocks also need to be placed better so that it's obvious what order they should be read in.
5. There's no need to number the panels if they follow a standard order (which yours do).
6. Your backgrounds need work. While I know it isn't easy to make nice backgrounds in Paint, it can be done. Look at the first hundred or so PV strips, which were all done in Paint. At very least, a blue sky would be an improvement.
7. You've got a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes in the text.

Finally, you say that you didn't put much effort into it and are the kind of person who does things really fast. Thing is, if that's the type of attitude you're going to take towards making a sprite comic, you should probably just stop now. If people see a quick sloppily done comic, they probably aren't going to bother reading it. And, even if they start reading it, they're going to stop pretty quickly if the writing isn't good (and, sorry to say, these first strips aren't particularily funny, exciting, or otherwise engaging). Sorry to be blunt but, at this point, you really should either give up or completely start over and do it right.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 3:51 pm 
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It's alright, I'm not insulted at all.

Thanks for all your help, people. I'm gonna need to do some serious editing. I still don't know where to find the backgrounds from where you mentioned in #6.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 5:16 pm 
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I DID work on some of the mistakes Josiah, Kaida, and Saber pointed out. I didn't know how to resolve some of the others, though... :(

Just look at this one, it's the PROLOGUE. It's not perfect, but it's my first try making this anyway.

NOTE:: None of the sprites belong to me, they belong to their respective owners. Thus, please don't judge my comic too much, it's my first try.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:21 pm 
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Still needs work, but it's definately an improvement over the first couple. I recommend reading my sprite comic guide. That link is to the first part of my sprite comic guide (at the bottom there's a link to part 2, which links to part 3, etc). Currently the first 7 parts are finished and they should answer nearly any question you may have about sprites, backgrounds, comic layouts, and the like.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:23 pm 
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Here is Chapter 1 and 2 of my new project. I'll give a few overviews for each, in case you don't know which is which.

Chapter 1: Decade woke up from the horrible nightmare of the wizard he saw. He then finds himself on the floor. Since Decade thought he had the time, he went to his laptop to do Myspace, until he found out it was already 8:00, he's late. He rushed downstairs, where his mom stopped him. She told him to go along with Pikachu, the annoying house Pokemon.

Chapter 2: I decided to skip the part where Decade's mom says it will be a great adventure going with Pikachu. And so, Decade says goodbye to his mom. He then decides to see his friend, Dylan's, house. But what Decade didn't know is that there was somebody behind him was a sharp, deadly blade. He notices Dylan rushed out of his house so quickly, for he is excited about the new journey. Until they hear a cry for help.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:12 pm 
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Huge improvement over your earlier stuff. Here's a few more tips/comments.

1. You should put some outline (white, black, or whatever shows up the best) between your panels so they're all clearly divided.
2. In the last panel of part 1, the mom's line is said first, but it's lower than your main character's speech bubble. In general, people will read the highest speech bubble first so here bubble should be above the other one. Your main character's bubble is also missing a triangle connecting it to him.
3. In the second panel of your second strip, the spikey haired guy should have a speech bubble. You can usually get away without speech bubbles for little things like pokemon speak and sound effects but all important dialogue should have them.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 7:16 pm 
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Thanks to Josiah for letting me use some of his backgrounds.

Chapter 3: Decade and Dylan find out who was yelling the cry for help, the overweight man who stands outside 24/7. And the predator turned out to be that spikey-haired dude who Decade past by (the Cloud Strife sprite). By challenging Dyland and Decade to a duel, the world suddenly feels distorted. But nothing really happened...

Chapter 4: To make a long story short, Dylan fights the mysterious fiend and gets his butt whooped.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 1:30 pm 
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While I don't mind too much, you should have asked permission before using my backgrounds.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 9:39 pm 
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Oh, I'm really sorry for using your backgrounds, then. But I really appreciate your help, Josiah, and I wouldn't have accomplished much without it.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:28 am 
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Like I said, I don't mind too much. But, as a rule of thumb, if you want to use anything from someone's else's comic ask for their permission first and, assuming they give it, credit them for whatever you used.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 9:48 pm 
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here is Chapter 5, Decade fights the mysterious giant-sword armed fiend alongside Pikachu.


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